Hello World
- Vae
I guess we're calling this the first official post on the blog! It's been ages since I dumped my brain onto a blog with some long-form writing like this, and I used to do it all the time! Any time I had a craft idea, or a diy project at home, I was photographing it and documenting the process on my blog for whoever decided to wander by.
Sometimes, the act of being excited to connect with people and share what I was working on was enough to get me to start on a project - the blogging fueled the creativity, and the creativity fed the blog in return.
It was much the same way when I was streaming on Twitch - the presence of others, the expectation that I would "show up" to draw and stream drove me to work on my visual art skills and propelled me to improve more than I ever had on my own.
Being consistent is something I have historically struggled with - it feels sometimes like building good habits, no matter how well-intentioned I am, how excited I am to begin, just fall to the wayside before long, unless I have built additional systems upon my intrinsic motivations to keep going - like the blog, or streaming.
While I loved streaming art, and improved immensely while I was actively showing up, there was a lot of baggage that came along with being an "internet personality" that did damage to my mental health and drew my focus away from what I love most - making art that means something to me - in favour of pursuing stream views, popularity, money, etc.
So here I am, some years later, the dust having settled, at least somewhat, on what remains of me post-"Internet Ego Death". I am making a pivot, making an effort to rebuild something of my beloved art practice, and the cycle of sharing begins again.
I make art, I make music, because I love the process, the act of making something from nothing gives me hope for myself. I'm never going to come out and say it's any good, but it's what I can do.
In this rapidly heating frog-pot of a world, every thing I make reflects my tiny fists raised in protest, my small resistance, my ode to joy in spite.
May this be a worthy part of that practice!